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Relationship Stress – What Can Help You To Cope?

Relationship stress and interpersonal stress can cause negative effects in your life and on your health. When problems arise between you and someone a loved you feel stressed because of the problem, this is what we call relationship stress.

I don’t want to fight with them. It seems as if we just can’t get along. I don’t understand, this is making my stomach hurt. I can't take the stress. When is this going to end? What was that even about? And why did I react like that? How much more of this can I take?

Is this your thoughts after a long argument with a person close to you? Our relationships with other people can cause us stress when there is tension. Relationships can be family members, friends, dating relationships, coworkers, and neighbors, anyone you speak to on a semi-regular basis.

During these uncomfortable moments of disagreements, or arguments our body goes into fight or flight stress reaction. This reaction is an automatic defense mechanism your body goes into to protect itself. You react to stress the exact way it is explained you are ready to fight your way through or you take flight(leave). Relationship stress can cause you or another to act in a way they would not normally react. Some relationship stress reactions are: yelling, unusual cursing, saying statements out of character, inability to draw reasonable conclusions, leaving abruptly.

Unhealthy relationship stress reactions if not addressed by the individual or you can develop into behaviors. Typically these negative behaviors are: isolation of the individual, irrational behaviors (consistent blaming, reactions done out of anger, cold speech, consistent cursing), giving the cold shoulder. If these types of behaviors persist without learning how to control and eliminate them it will have an eroding effect on the relationships in your life.

Abusive Relationship

An abusive relationship can cover a variety of abuse. It is not just physical anymore. There is emotional and mental abuse as well. Emotional abuse can be a person continuing to do things to hurt you emotionally such as: name calling, consistently expressing negative views about you, belittling (making you feel dumb or unworthy). Mental abuse normally includes making someone feel they are unstable, including manipulation, and slandering a person’s reputation so to make people dislike them. This can cause severe mental distress and cause the disruption of ones life.

If you feel you are experiencing any of these types of abuse the best thing you can do for yourself is to contact your physician and ask how to seek further help. Your doctor will help you in this respect and will have your health in view. Something to remember is not to blame yourself for someone acting in that manner. Everyone deserves respect. Abuse is not a normal behavior in a relationship of any kind. It does not have to be part of your life.

Positive Thinking and affirmations for self esteem building.

Relationship Help

There are steps and personality traits you can change in yourself to contribute to healthy relationships, and thus decrease your stress level with relationship stress. Keep in mind if you make positive changes in your life you are not only helping the healthy functions of your relationships but you are also growing as a person and this will leave you with a sense of fulfillment.

1. Unrealistic expectations. Life is not always what you want it to be and the same goes for people. You cannot expect people to give you the world, or on a more realistic level something they don’t want to give, or have to give. People are at different maturity levels in life. That person may not be where you are at. So don't expect them to give you the same amount of forgiveness, concern, or plain maturity that you give.

2. Exaggeration. In conversation we use such terms as: never, always, and forever. These lead to hurt feeling, leaving the individual feeling like you will not see progression, or their room for improvement. So, by not saying "you always do this..." replacing always with somtimes or at times. it saves hurt feelings, and makes for a peaceful conversation.

3. Assume some responsibility. Usually it takes two to tango. If you had any part in a discussion that went south it is quite possible that you said something that was misunderstood or said something that hurt the individual. At this point you can assume a small piece of responsibility where you might have hurt them. Then the other person might be more forth coming with where they are wrong.

4. Validation. One might feel hurt or pained by something you might have said. Their feelings are real to them, and that is ok. Their feelings however wrong they may be, are valid to them. Let them know you understand why that could have hurt them, validate their feelings.

5. Be specific in defining your issues with someone. If you are specific there is no room for false interpretation. False interpretation is one of the leading causes of relationship stress. People assume the wrong thing then there is more tension.

6. Remember a person’s limits. At times someone close to us is having a stressful time, that is a time when the amount of pressure they can handle is limited. Certain individuals are unable or choose not to be emotionally available to you. This person has a limit whether it is their decision or not it can affect your dealings with them. Keep this in mind, you can avoid much undue stress if you recognize their limitations and do not expect more then they can or will give.

7. Blaming or what we call it, "The Blame Game". Unhealthy view of yourself can cause you undue stress and your not even are aware of it. Feeling you are never wrong or a loved one can do no wrong can result in the blaming of others for situations and seriously damaging those relationships causing relationship stress. This is an easy pattern of thinking to have and is very common. Normally when you love someone you tend to be bias to their feelings and elevate them above others and self. Beware of this type of thinking, while it may be normal it can be damaging to others feelings and can result in a low self esteem for you, and make others feel like they can not please you.

8. Find a confidant. The key to this is picking a confidant that has experience and wisdom. Bounce situations off of them and get their take on matters. Often you will find that some friendly advice can help you get a good balance. Thus relieving undue relationship stress.

9. Let love govern all your dealings. If you think of the loving thing to do before you react you are more likely to help rather than hurt. This is beneficial to all involved.

Relationship Stress is a serious matter.

It involves our lives and the lives of others. One action can have a ripple effect in your family, and friends. By thinking clearly and acting rationally you can reduce your stress level caused by relationship stress.

SBI!